Hey, Clay Andrews here. In addition to this blog, I also run a relationship advice blog The Path to Passion. I wanted to take a moment though to show you how to get your ex girlfriend back. Check out the video below :
[This is a transcript of the video above]
Hello. My name is Clay Andrews.
You are probably here because you are wondering how to get your ex girlfriend back. I’ve been there, trust me. I know how miserable you might be feeling right now, and I am truly sorry to hear about your situation.
However, you can’t feel sorry for yourself right now if you want to change things.
A breakup is a very emotional and painful thing to go through. Probably all you want to do just now is to keep to yourself and sulk. (Trust me, I’ve been there myself.)
But if you are here to figure out how to get your ex girlfriend back…
…it is extremely important that you develop a solid plan right now. Otherwise you may be tempted to make a bad move by irrational impulse or instinct, and hurt your chances in the process.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Most of the time in life, you’ll do pretty well if you just follow your instincts or just go with your gut on things.
However, this does not apply to breakup situations!
You see, if you’re anything like I was, you’re probably overwhelmed with feelings of rejection and heartbreak. These can cause you to do some things that you may otherwise not do. Things that aren’t really in line with who you are are.
So, set aside what you might be doing right now and pay attention to what I’m going to share with you here. If you can put this stuff into action, it can really have a huge impact on what you’re doing with your break up and your ex girlfriend.
3 Big Steps to Get Your Girlfriend Back
There are really 3 important things you need to do to get your girlfriend back into your life again.
Now, of course I understand that you are a unique person and you had your own unique situation with your girlfriend. Some guys might think that their situation is so special that it is some kind of bizarre exception.
But, if you really want to get your ex girlfriend back, then I strongly recommend you keep these three things in mind moving forward and try to apply them to your situation.
This stuff has worked with countless guys in the past who I’ve helped since 2009 and I’m confident that you can get something valuable from this.
So, let’s get started:
First and Foremost: This Starts with You
No matter how bad or heartbroken you may feel right now, you have to understand that your ex girlfriend isn’t going to get back together with you if you’re feeling overly needy or desperate.
Maybe you feel on some level that if you can just let her know how bad you feel that she’ll com back to you out of guilt or pity.
But you have to understand that this isn’t what attracted your girlfriend to you in the first place. Women never fall in love with men because of pity or guilt. It just doesn’t work that way.
But you’d be surprised at how many guys will try to get her back with this sort of “strategy.” If you’re doing this, then please stop now before you do any more damage.
If you’re going to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to shed these negative emotions you’re feeling now and become the attractive guy that she fell in love with the first time.
How Can You Stop Feeling Horrible?
Maybe you’re thinking, okay, Clay, that all makes sense, but I feel horrible right now. How can I be the guy that she fell in love with the first time when I feel like my entire world is falling apart?
I can understand where you’re coming from. Like I said before, I’ve been where you’re at myself.
Try this simple thought exercise right now.
- Imagine for a moment how it would feel to be back together with your girlfriend. Don’t imagine this as a memory, but as something in the future. Maybe a few weeks from now.
- Really get into this feeling and experience it in as much detail as you possibly can. Can you see her right now giggling at your inside jokes again? Can you feel her arms around you as she gives you a loving caress? Can you truly experience what it is like to be happy and enjoy a relationship together with her again?
I bet you are already feeling a little better, aren’t you?
You see, in any moment you have the choice to either focus on what you want or focus on what you don’t want.
Any time you feel bad, it is because you are focusing your mind on what you don’t want.
All bad feelings come from focusing on what you don’t want.
They come from focusing on lack, loss, scarcity, or other similar emotions. And chances are good that you’re probably feeling at least a few of these things if your girlfriend left you and you’re struggling with the break up.
When you shift your focus instead to what you do want, something amazing happen:
You feel good.
Instead of lack, loss, desperation, or need, you can instead feel hope, happiness, excitement, and anticipation.
What’s even more is that depending on how you feel in any given moment, you give off a certain emotional vibe. And you’d better believe that your ex-girlfriend can feel it.
Do you think she would be more likely to want to spend time with you if you were depressed and sad? Or happy and optimistic?
If every time she is around you and you’re sad or in a bad mood, she’ll feel repelled from you. Especially because on some level she feels guilty herself for breaking up with you and causing you to feel this way.
On the other hand though, if when she sees you, you’re happy and fun to be around (in other words, the guy that she fell for in the first place), she’ll be reminded of all the reasons she likes you and she can’t help but feel that spark of love return.
I hope that you’re starting to see the power of focusing your mind and how important it is when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back.
Second: Cut or Limit Contact with Her
Maybe you’ve read some stuff here or there about the No Contact rule. Basically, what it says is that you should stop contacting your ex girlfriend for about one month to help you:
- heal your emotional wounds
- get her to miss you
- keep yourself from doing some things that you might later regret
And, if you’re like me, you are probably a little nervous about trying out the No Contact rule.
Hey, I get it! You’re a guy and you naturally want to fix things. You might be thinking that if you just stopped contacting her, she’ll just move on and forget about you.
But this is the exact opposite of how things work and it will get you nowhere fast.
You see, when your girlfriend broke up with you, no matter what reason she gave you, she really just wants some space away from you and your relationship (at least for now) to think things over.
When you call her several times per day, “accidentally” run into her, or track her every move on FaceBook or other websites, you are definitely not giving her the space that she wants.
If you’re worried that she’ll forget about you, don’t. You see, even if she jumped right into another relationship, I can promise you that you’re still on her mind and that she definitely won’t forget about you in just one month.
In fact, by cutting contact with her, you are really giving her to opportunity to miss you and really live with the consequences of breaking up with you. If you’re not there for her, then she’ll have to really feel the pain herself of not having you in her life.
I know that No Contact can be difficult, but if you’re feeling the urge to call her up and profess your love or beg her to come back, remember, that bad feelings come from focusing your mind on what you don’t want.
Keep doing that exercise we did earlier, and change your focus to what you do want instead.
Third: Get Active to Keep Your Mind Off Her
This may not really seem like something that is directly related to getting your girlfriend back, but hang on with me for a moment.
When you get out of the house and do something, whether it’s taking a class, volunteering, or just spending time with friends, you’re doing a few things:
- You’re keeping your mind on something besides your break up, which will help shift your focus to something positive. This gives you less time to miss your girlfriend or feel bad.
- You’re moving your live in a positive direction, which will help you rebuild your sense of confidence and over all satisfaction with your life (definitely going to help you appear happier when you meet your ex-girlfriend again).
- You’re also doing something interesting that will show your ex-girlfriend that you are working on improving yourself or doing something with your life. Women like men who have goals and make progress at achieving them.
What If You’ve Already Broken These Rules?
Maybe you’re thinking: “I’m way past all of that, Clay. I’ve broken all the rules.”
That’s okay. I’ve been there too. I’ve spent a few weeks begging or pleading with my ex girlfriend trying to get her back. To be honest, I did a lot of damage, knowing what I know now.
But all you have to do is start doing these three things right now regardless of all the mistakes you may have made in the past.
Your situation isn’t hopeless at all.
What To Do Next
If you still aren’t quite sure what to do next, or how to really get your emotions and your mindset right so that you can get your ex girlfriend back, I’d like you to click on the link below.
I’ve set up a special website where I’ll show you more about how to get your ex girlfriend back in a completely ethical way that leaves the two of you both feeling good about it.