I’ve been there myself. Those days when it all just seems so dark and hopeless after a break up. You just feel so completely powerless over your situation. You miss your ex girlfriend so much and it seems like your entire happiness is in her hands and completely out of your control.
Here are a few questions I get from guys going through the “dark night of the soul” after a break up.
Q: I miss my ex girlfriend so much, what can I do to make the pain go away?
A: I know what it’s like to sit at home on a Friday night by yourself feeling lousy and wanting nothing more than to just have her back in your arms. It hurts. It really does.
So, know that what I’m saying here is from personal experience.
If you want to feel better about yourself, you need to stop looking outside of yourself for your happiness and start finding happiness that comes from within. This might sound like some feel-good nonsense, but you have to understand that as long as you define happiness by something outside of you, you surrender control of your life to that other thing (in this case, your ex girlfriend).
If instead, you can find joy in your own life and in the positive things that you do have going for you. Focus on what you are grateful for and the good things in your life like your friends, your job (those are pretty rare these days), or your health.
Q: Is there anything I can do to get her back? I miss my ex girlfriend so much and I just want her to love me again.
A: Yeah, I wrote a guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back. It really lays out the basic steps to get started.
The hardest part though, is finding the courage to use the No Contact Rule. It really seems counter-intuitive, but trust me, as soon as you start doing it, it will change the dynamic in your relationship with your ex girlfriend. If you don’t feel like you’re making any progress with getting her back, this one thing will really help you.
Q: I miss my ex girlfriend so much and the pain is nearly unbearable. What can I do right now?
A: Okay, I’m going to assume that it’s the middle of the night or in the middle of the day, because those were the worst times for me… being alone with my thoughts while I was doing something mindless at work or tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep.
What you can do right now is find things to focus on that will move your life in a positive direction. If you feel lousy, ask yourself, “what can I do right now to start feeling better?” Maybe you could start exercising to work off some of that stress (bonus: you’ll also get a better body too).
If you focus on improving something in your life like your fitness, your career, or whatever, you will be learning how to control your own happiness. You’ll start to build your confidence again. And you’ll start to appear more attractive to your ex girlfriend (or all the other hotties out there).
Check out my guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back here…
Sometimes you just have to stay busy and get on with your life. Focus on yourself. Get together with friends, treat yourself to some new clothes, take up a hobby where you can get involved with other people. You’ve got to get happy with who you are and where you’re at before you can be attractive again to your ex or others.