I remember the day my girlfriend dumped me. It was evening sometime in late February. Just after Valentines Day. She called me, and gave me the news.
After a few minutes of me lingering on the phone trying to make sense of it all, we hung up.
And I never felt more alone in my life than I did at that moment. She was studying at college about 100 miles away. I had one friend in the world, but he lived in another city.
I guess you could describe it as “free fall.”
I just felt like there was nothing left for me to anchor my life to.
The next few days were torture. I had to deal with uncaring people at my office. Every time I’d sit down to do some mindless activity at my desk, the goblins in my mind would creep in and make me think all sorts of horrible thoughts.
It was more than I could take at times, and I had to get up from my desk and go cry in the men’s room just to get the emotions out and pull myself together.
But enough about me. I really want this blog to be about you.
Here are some lessons that helped me when my girlfriend dumped me, and who knows, they might just help you too 
First. realize that you are responsible for your emotions. Over at my main blog called The Path to Passion, I wrote a blog post on your locus on control (that’s a fancy word for where you assign responsibility for things that happen to you) and how to get over a break up.
But basically, you need to realize that you can’t control your girlfriends feeling, and constantly basing your happiness on whether or not she loves you or wants you back is only going to add agony to your life.
It took me a long time to really get this when my girlfriend dumped me, but when I did, it changed my world.
Instead of looking to her to make you happy, try to find happiness in your own life just the way it is. Spend some time reconnecting with yourself and find things that you really enjoy on your own.
This may take some time, since a lot of guys will tend to lose touch with themselves when they’re in a relationship. They start to put their hobbies on the sidelines while they opt for a movie night with their girlfriend instead. Now is the time to rediscover your passions.
Second, don’t rush back into dating right away. Although those lonely nights by yourself can make you long for your ex girlfriend or a new girlfriend, don’t try to find happiness in another woman (sounds kind of like that last point, huh?).
Although it may be tempting to hit up the singles bar, your sister’s best friend, or that girl in accounting at work, take some time to work through your emotional issues first.
Even if you don’t think you have any, I can guarantee you that you do have some emotional issues with your break up (unless you and your girlfriend only dated for, like, a week…).
When my girlfriend dumped me for the last time, I waited a whole year before I jumped back in the dating pool again.
Even if you’re trying to figure out how to get your ex girlfriend back, you should at least wait about a month (AT LEAST!) before you start dating her or anyone else.
If you don’t, you’re not giving yourself proper time to heal from the break up. Even if you can deal with that, that’s not fair to dump all that emotional baggage on someone else.
So don’t date anyone else for a month. If not for you, do it for the sake of all the women out there.
Third, set goals for yourself. There’s no doubt about it. Getting dumped can really do a number on your self-esteem. Rejection, loneliness, depression, and other less-than-pleasant emotions can get the best of you.
In order to rebuild that self-esteem when my girlfriend dumped me, I made some goals for myself. I took a long and hard look at my life and I noticed where things really weren’t working. I crafted this big vision for where I wanted to go in every area of my life, ranging from my career to my relationships to my health and fitness.
The thing was though, that as I started working toward these goals, I actually started to feel better about myself. You see, getting things done and making progress toward things will help you feel like you’re capable of getting things done (and that’s something that a lot of guys may second-guess after a break up crushes their confidence).
What do you want with your life? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do? How much money do you want to make? Answer these questions and you’ll be well on your way.
Next break these down into actionable steps that you can do.
For example, if you wanted to get a six pack, you’d need to first sign up for a gym and then exercise regularly and improve your diet.
You get the idea
These are some of the biggest lessons from when my girlfriend dumped me, and I hope they help you out as well.
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I know break ups can hurt, but I sincerely want to help you.
Secret Loophole to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
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Does It Seem Like You’re the Only One Trying to Save Your Relationship? Ashley Kay’s Ex Recovery System is a powerful tool that will show you how to work things out with your girlfriend even if it seems like she’s completely moved on. Ashley Kay has some great free tips that she shares on a video on her website. You can check out that video here. |
