A lot of people want to know what they should do if your ex contacts you while you’re using the No Contact Rule.
Should you answer the phone? Reply to that email? Or should you just keep doing No Contact and make them suffer for once?
Trust me, I’ve been there myself. I remember that day that I was walking home from work. The sun was out and I was actually starting to move on and feel good about my life, on my own, for once.
Then my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket, looked down and saw that caller ID image of my ex girlfriend. To be honest, it was a bit of a strange feeling. It felt like a flashback to when we were together, it all felt so familiar. At the same time, this was something I wanted for so long. It was unreal.
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So, if you find yourself in this situation, what do you do when your ex contacts you?
First thing’s first. If your ex contacts you, you need to figure out why they are doing it. there are really only two reasons your ex would contact you.
- One, they have some sort of unresolved logistical thing to take care of. Maybe they forgot some clothes at your place, they need you to pay your half of the phone bill for the last month you two were together, or something along those lines.
- Two, they have still have feelings (of any kind) for you. If your ex contacts you for any other reason, it is probably because they still have feelings for you. Whether good or bad feelings, they’ve still got it bad for you. Yes, that’s right, even if they’re acting hostile or angry toward you it still only shows that they aren’t quite over you yet.
Okay, so those are the two motivations for contacting you, but what do you do about it? Do you pick up the phone? Or do you just barrel ahead with No Contact and try to move on with your life?
Well, once again, this depends on two things.
- One, if you are trying to move on with your life and you have no interest in getting back together with them. If this is the case, then you are probably better off no answering the phone when your ex contacts you. Talking to them or seeing them again will stir up all sorts of memories. You could be opening the door to lots of drama in your life if you find out that they are seeing someone new or that their jealousy might ruin your chances of seeing someone new.
- Two, if you are trying to get back together with them. Well, if you are trying to save your relationship with your partner, then this can absolutely seem like good news. After all, if they want to talk to you again, contacting you is definitely a step forward.
However, I wouldn’t recommend being too available for them. You can all them back or reply to their emails, just make sure you do it on your own terms. Make them wait a day or two before you contact them back. This will build up anticipation during that time. They won’t be able to think about anything else but you during those few days, and when you do finally get back to them, they will be quite happy about it (definitely something you want them associating with you).
So, you see it really depends on what your target outcome is here. If you want to move on, then I recommend not getting in touch with them for your own sake. But if you want to get back together, then call them back, but make them wait a bit first before doing so. this way they’ll learn to respect and value you.
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